Now: on to the show.
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| This post is dedicated to my best friend group Rachael, Kenzie, Abbott, Maya, Caleb and Amanda: For all the times we stayed up late talking about nothing, for all the private jokes we have, for every time we played "todge
-pong" and "MASH", for all the times I hurt myself and one of you carried me, for all the garbage you've gotten me through, for all the songs and the memories and the tears and the laughter, and for all the notes-in-class and the that's-not-how-you-do-it's and the teasing-about-boyfriends and the fighting-about-stupid-stuff and the I-miss-you-more's, I love you all so much. Thanks for being there for me!
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Friendship. The concept has been around, as far as we know, since the dawn of time. Although not specifically stated, Adam and Eve were obviously friends (as all lovers should be in my humble opinion). Then of course David and Jonathan. Even Jesus had best friends. So as far back as we can go with a written record, there have been such things as friends and people living together in mutual "like" - if not always in harmony. But what exactly is friendship? Why has it been around for so long? What does it look like to be a good friend? And why are friends important in our walk with God?
Well, I'm glad you asked.
True friendship is hard to define. Here are some of the ways I've heard it described:
"A true friend is someone who has touched your heart and will stay there."
"True friendship is when someone knows you better than yourself and takes a position in your best interests in a crisis."
"Friendship goes beyond just sharing time together, and it is long lasting. Friendship can mean different things to different people."
Jesus gives us the best example of what a best friend should be willing to do. He gave us the definition of a true friend: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus is the pure example of a true friend, for He laid down His life for His friends. And anyone may become His friend by trusting in Him as his personal savior, being born again and receiving new life in Him!
So we know that Jesus should be (and is, if you have accepted His free gift of salvation) our best friend. But that only half answers the first question. What if we are willing to lay down our lives for our friends, but the opportunity never presents itself? Science says that friendship is part of what makes us who we are. In a recent study, a group studied the brain scans of twenty-two people who were under the threat of receiving a small electrical shock to themselves, a friend, or a stranger. Scientists discovered that the brain activity of the person in danger, versus that when a friend is, is essentially the same. What is the point of all this? Well, "people close to us become a part of ourselves," says James Coan, psychologist and director of the study, "and that's not just a metaphor or poetry, it's very real. Literally, we are under threat when a friend is under threat." (10 True Facts about Friendship: What Scientists Have To Say). If you never have to give up your life for your best friends, thank God for that. You have been blessed. But it does not mean you are not friends if you don't have to. Your friends are a part of you. Literally. And you don't have to die for them to make that statement a reality.
Why has friendship been around for so long? Because God created it when he first created humans. Genesis 2:18 says, "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.'" (NLT). And you know the rest. Or maybe you don't. God created Eve to be Adam's helper and partner and friend, and commanded them to multiply and fill the earth with other humans who were made in God's image.
And they lived happily ever after.
Ha, ha! Just kidding! They ate from the tree that God had forbidden them to eat from and here we are, thousands of years later, still bearing witness to the fact that all disobedience comes with consequences. But, even amidst all the chaos that has ensued since then on this dismal planet we call home, God saw fit to throw us a bone - a blessing we call friendship. Friendship is a flower in the rainforest. It is a bright spot in a dark place. Who doesn't smile when they see two little girls playing dress-up together, or when they witness two teens playing basketball? It's a beautiful thing and I thank the Lord every day that He has given me such great friends. Why do you think every movie has the stereotypical "goofy best friend"? Because friendship is relatable, it's real, and it's beautifully hopeful.
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| Friendship is relatable, it's real, and it's beautifully hopeful. |
And that, my friends, is why friendship is still around.
Because we need each other.
We need each other, not on a romantic level but simply on a relational level. We need someone to sympathize with us when we go through tough times. We need someone to laugh with us when we can't stop laughing. We need a sidekick who will go with us when we need to defeat the Voldemort or the Sauron or the Darth Vader in our lives. We need each other. Human beings were created to be social creatures, meaning that we are most comfortable when we have family, friends and acquaintances. Friendship is an important element in a fulfilled, contented life, and those who have close friends, whether one or two or a million and a half, will usually be happy and well-adjusted. At the same time, those who call themselves our friends may cause us grief and hardship, constantly disappointing us. How do we avoid being the grief-causer ourselves?
Being a good friend takes work. No friendship is perfect. Luke 6:31 says, "Do to others as you would have them do to you." This has been considered the "Golden Rule" for quite some time but people often misuse it and believe it to mean that if you treat others in a way you wouldn't mind being treated that makes it ok, and thus it can easily be used to rationalize immoral behavior. The verse instead means to treat others with the respect you would like to receive, and this is very important in friendships, especially with that one friend (and everyone has them) with very strong opinions that might differ from yours. In general, thinking about the other person in the relationship as more important than yourself helps quite a bit when trying to be a good friend. In this way, their needs are always met and they are happy to do the same for you. To know more about what the Bible says about being a good friend, click here.
I think it has been established that friends are a great thing to have. But even more than just being fun to have around, good Christian friends are monumentally important in our spiritual walks with Christ. If you are married, I hope your spouse fills this role. Our Christian friends are to be helping build up our relationships with Christ, helping us along the Narrow Way. In a beautiful analogy, J.R.R.Tolkien writes of Sam never leaving Frodo, even carrying him up Mount Doom towards his final destination. In the same way, we as friends are to stick by one another, to chastise each other when we are in the wrong, and to love each other as we love ourselves. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). This means that by helping others notice when they are in the wrong, we are helping them be more like Christ - and vice versa. Friends are a wonderful gift. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17).
No one should have to go through life feeling alone. Take a moment today and pray for someone that you think might be going through that. Then, if you have the opportunity, talk to them. Befriend them, even if it's not "cool". God made all of us to crave human connection and some of us are simply bad communicators, or seriously shy, or have been lowered in some way. It should not matter. It takes a friend to have friends. And the person that realizes that will spread hope throughout their world.
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24).
COMMENT BELOW!!!!! Which friendship pair is your favorite? Which one reminds you of you and your best friend/spouse? Tell me your thoughts!
CREDIT: "10 True Facts about Friendship: What Science Has to Say." HuffPost Lifestyle: United Kingdom. Sept. 4, 2014. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/09/04/10-facts-about-friendship_n_5764448.html
