LIFE: An Unchanging God in a Changing World

Toys

Princess dresses. Plastic saddles. A little bed.

There's a little girl in my life. She's eight years old and she loves American Girl with her whole heart. Watching her dance around her room with her dolls, pretending to be performing in a figure skating competition, is one of my greatest joys in life. Because of this, I, being the overzealous nanny that I am, decided to go through my old AG toys and see what little things I could part with. Why not? She doesn't have that many extras for her dolls, and after all, I've outgrown mine. I rummaged through the miniature white ice skates and tiny pearls with renewed vigor - but I soon discovered why going through one's old toys for the first time in years is one of the most quintessentially nostalgic things to do.

When I was younger, there was nothing I wouldn't have given to be BIG. I pretended I was old enough to have a boyfriend. I pretended I was old enough to wear makeup and have a cell phone. I pretended I was old enough to teach school. I played with my American Girl dolls and taught my little schools and had my little love affairs without knowing what any of that really meant.

I'm old enough to have a boyfriend now, and to wear makeup and have a cell phone. I write lesson plans and teach classes and watch educators for the day when I'll have my own classroom. And I can't help but think about how funny it all is, really; how ironic. I wish I was little again, and when I play with the kids I nanny or work with children in school, I feel like I am.

1 Corinthians 13:11: "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."

Princess Dresses

I was forced to grow up. 

Before I moved out and went to college, I had the sense that I was still a child. I had no idea what anything meant. I had had little to no interaction with evil outside the boundaries of my little home, my little church, my little school. I took for granted the fact that everyone I knew was always there for me, that God was always there for me. I sat in church and sang my heart out on Sunday mornings and I wholeheartedly believed in God.

I was safe. 

Then I had that princess dress ripped off of me.  

Life has a way of changing one's perspective. In the course of the events of one evening, I began to see my life like I was floating above it, distancing myself from the world around me. People have to change. We have to adapt. We have to evolve. To be safe. And in the continuing aftereffects of that one afternoon, I began to recognize that I was the only one who could keep myself safe now. Because suddenly, I was a grown-up. Things were real. 

Was God? 

Luke 24:38: "And he said to them, 'Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?"

Plastic Saddles

I was talking to one of my close friends the other day about the culture of Christianity. "It's superficial," he said. "I mean, it can be, at times." He'd been struggling with trying to make his faith his own, apart from his church and family, and in learning new doctrines and concepts, he was overwhelmed with trying to get serious about his faith. He thought that change was a bad thing.

I told him it wasn't. "You're going to change," I said. "You have to become your own person. But it's important to remember that God stays the same."

God stays the same. What we know about His attributes does not change, no matter where we are in life. This is a simple concept but it's so hard to understand, especially when our lives are tumultuous. Life is like riding a horse with a plastic saddle. It's going to get uncomfortable. It's hard. We might fall off sometimes. But God stays the same.

I fell off my saddle. I went crazy for a while. I felt guilty for everything in my life and I had no motivation to get up in the morning, much less pray, read my Bible or fellowship with other Christians. I didn't feel God with me and so I doubted His existence and His connection with me. But, in the midst of all that, He was there, and He was the same. Always working. Always watching. Always loving me.

Hebrews 13:8: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever."

A Little Bed

Everyone changes. Life is never the same, from one day to the next. 

I have a difficult time with change. When I was a little girl, my mother would have to give me a ten-minute/five-minute/three-minute warning before I could switch between activities. Now it's not much different. I hate the fact that so much in my life has changed. It's hard for me to comprehend that one of my closest childhood friends is married. My best friend is engaged. My youngest sister is thinking about boys and makeup instead of keeping her toys off the floor of her bedroom. I have one more year of college and I have to start thinking about a career, student debts, bills...

What??!

But I have peace throughout the changes. Even when life is hard. Even when I can't predict the outcome and I'm stressed. God doesn't change and He won't change. He is bigger and stronger than anything I will ever face, and He is in control of my life. I can put the girl I babysit to sleep in her little bed and know that she will be safe. I can rest comfortably as well, knowing that my God is my safety and salvation. 

I am a grown-up now, whatever that means. But this is my declaration and my promise: I will never again lose sight of that hope that I held as a child, and I will always strive to bring it into every aspect of my life. Change is inevitable. Life is hard. Bad things happen and it doesn't make sense. But I have hope, and so do you.

Psalm 4:8: "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety."